In June, my family and I arrived in Turkey. In the week leading up to our departure, our worried friends had emailed us: “Are you sure you want to go to Turkey?!” Once we arrived, messages sounded very worried: “Why are you in Turkey and when are you leaving?!” There were anti-government protests throughout the country and the response was tear gas and water cannons in Istanbul’s Taksim Square.
Feeling scared and hyper-vigilant upon landing at Ataturk airport, we were pleasantly surprised, a little shocked, and very relieved to see men, women, and children laughing and chatting at Istanbul’s many outdoor cafes. Contrary to my fears, people were not cowering at home behind boarded-up windows. The Turks were living normal lives. Perhaps the fear and stress I was feeling had more to do with my mind’s reverberations and less to do with reality. The possibility of living life fully engaged, despite the mind’s “noise,” is very exciting to me.
Five Lessons from Europe
In addition to this experience in Turkey on the first day of our trip, I am grateful for the following from our three-month sabbatical, which included visits to eight countries.
1) People want to help. Many Turks, Croatians and Spaniards were eager to help us and tell us their stories. Repeatedly, when I thought we were especially vulnerable to being conned, we weren’t. People are more honest and helpful than I ever knew, like the bicycle store owner in France who spent an hour fixing our flat tire without accepting any money because he wants Americans to feel welcome in France. Being a recipient of his generosity only inspires me to practice “generosity without expectation” with others.
2) Togetherness. As a family, we bonded. We stayed in small apartments or hotel rooms and ate all our meals together for a whole summer. The rhythm of our days and weeks created many opportunities for connection.
3) Letting go. So often, our plans needed to change and I needed to let go of my attachment to things being a certain way. One would think that a seven-hour plane delay is a problem, but in this case it turned out to be a blessing: We got to leave the airport and visit Goethe’s house and the Jewish Museum in Frankfurt. Yes, you can learn to let go of attachments by meditating for years on a hard cushion, or you can go to Europe for three months!
4) New ideas. Just because I was born and raised here in the U.S. doesn’t mean I can’t adopt the ways of other cultures. Could Spain’s longer work day with a three-hour afternoon siesta, for example, reinvigorate our lives back in America? Could Croatia’s very slow food culture add richness to our lives?
5) “Retirement.” While our American culture is focused on saving a large sum of money for retirement at age 65, fewer Europeans are oriented this way. Europeans think more about doing work that is fulfilling enough to do beyond age 65, and they aren’t as driven to accumulate sufficient assets so they can retire without needing to work anymore. We met many people who interrupted their careers to spend time with a friend or family member, or do a creative project or get retrained for another profession. There’s more cultural acceptance for taking a 12-month break, for example, from your professional or business career. What’s unusual in America is considered normal in Europe.
A Renewed Sense of Optimism and Compassion
What all these things created in me was a sense of optimism as well as compassion for the world. When I met people face to face to face, I felt far more compassion for them than I ever did just by reading about their situation in the newspapers. Feeling compassion for others fosters more compassion for myself. More compassion for myself fosters more compassion for others. And on and on it goes…
