After more than 35 years in the financial industry, I’ve seen countless people wrestle with stress, and I’ve lived through plenty of it myself.
Money stress can show up in many different forms: buying a home, not knowing when to retire, refinancing a mortgage, selling a business, investing in the stock market, running out of money, or running out of time.
And then there are the daily questions: Should I ask for a raise? Are my spouse and I spending too much? Should I be giving more or less money to my kids or aging parents? Should I make this expensive purchase? Should I save for college or for retirement? Do I have enough?
It’s Not Just the Numbers
What I’ve learned is this: in most cases, the real source of stress isn’t the mortgage, the business, or the bank balance. It’s our thoughts about these things. I’ve watched clients in nearly identical situations respond in completely different ways, proof to me that it’s our perspective, not the math, that drives our stress levels.
This realization can be liberating. We don’t have to spiral just because the market dips, our bank balance is low, and the roofer tells us we need a $50,000 repair- all on the same Monday. There is what happens to us in life, and then there are stories we tell ourselves about what happened. “I’m not good with money.” “I should have done this differently.” “I shouldn’t have listened to my friend.” “I will never have enough.” These thoughts replay on a loop and fuel the anxiety.
If we could realize our money stress has more to do with our thoughts about our finances than the finances themselves, we could be happier, calmer, and wiser about money. It’s a decision to react the way we do to money events. After all, there are millions of people in your exact situation—or even worse off—who carry far less stress than you do.
The Real Price of Money Stress
Stress is costly. It affects our heart, our vitality, and our mood. And when it comes to money, there’s another hidden cost: stress actually decreases oxygen intake, leaving our brains less capable of creative problem-solving right when we need it most.
For me, money stress often looked like constant worry about my savings disappearing. Any financial loss, either through an investment or a purchase, triggered a story in my head that I might eventually end up broke.
The good news? You don’t need to grow your money faster to ease that kind of stress. Instead, there are simple, mindful practices that may shift your relationship with money and bring you more peace.
1. Take a Money Breath
Whenever you feel stress, inhale for 3 seconds through the nose, pause for 1 second at the top of your inhale, then exhale for 6 seconds through your mouth. Do this full 10-second breath cycle a few times.
Then, recall a time when you had less money than you do today but still felt a sense of ease and enough. Now, how do you feel about buying that $500 cashmere sweater or getting the unexpected roof repair bill? Maybe you still buy the sweater, but you do it more mindfully and less impulsively. Yes, you have to pay the roofing bill; but you see the bill from a wider perspective and are less fearful now.
2. Inhale and Exhale
It may sound unusual, but this practice can be surprisingly powerful. As you inhale, imagine fear entering your body; as you exhale, imagine something positive flowing out to your friends and family. For example, I have breathed in the fear of scarcity and breathed out a sense of abundance for all. Set a timer and do this for 1-3 minutes a day for a week.
The inhale helps you get comfortable with or befriend the negative energy, while the exhale transmits the positive qualities already within you. It may feel counterintuitive at first, but give it a try—you might be surprised by the shift it creates.
3. Take on a Gratitude Practice
Try writing down, or simply recalling each morning or evening, three things you already have and three moments from yesterday or today that brought you joy. You can repeat the same items from day to day; the practice still works. Do this each day for a week.
It’s such a simple exercise that I sometimes forget to do it, but whenever I return to it, the rewards can be immeasurable.
When we focus on appreciating what we already have, the voice in our heads insisting we need something new to feel okay grows quieter. Over time, this helps us enjoy what’s already in our lives and make more thoughtful choices about what we add.
4. Lose the Envy
Comparing yourself to others is one of the most harmful habits we can fall into. It never benefits us, and it often robs us of energy and joy. Many of us, myself included, feel envy multiple times a day, and it not only drains us but can also weaken the relationships we might otherwise build with those people.
It may feel counterintuitive, but try closing your eyes and sincerely wish that person more success, abundance, and good fortune. Say to yourself as you think of your nemesis (or someone else who, in your opinion, has more than you): May your success continue; may your happiness increase; may your abundance never wane.
This practice has worked well for me. Instead of feeling tension toward people I once envied, I now feel a sense of ease and, most importantly, a stronger sense of wholeness within myself.
5. Embrace How Much Bigger Your Net Worth Is
My final stress buster is to embrace how much bigger your net worth is than just your bank balance. It includes your earning power, your skills, and the countless ways you bring value to others.
Think of it this way: If you were offered a billion dollars along with a disease that would end your life in three months, or just one dollar and a lifetime of good health, you would likely choose the dollar. Simply being alive is worth more than any balance sheet. And it becomes even more powerful when you realize there is only one you on this planet.
As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” Your unique set of gifts will never exist again—so embrace them and share them generously with the world.
Continue to Be Mindful
Is money the last taboo? In many ways, yes- it’s one of the biggest sources of stress in the United States. But the good news is that you can ease this stress with the five mindful practices I’ve outlined.
You don’t need to change your circumstances, or earn or save more money, or reinvent yourself. All it takes is a few minutes each day to focus on the mindfulness practices that call to you. The reassuring part is: you don’t need to change who you are in order to change how you feel about your life.
