It probably comes as no surprise that we financial planners like our budgets. We don’t see budgets as restrictive, but rather as a way to say YES to experiences and things and to simply keep life’s expenses organized.
As both a financial advisor and a “Saver” archetype (find out your financial archetype here), I have diligently tracked my family’s income, expenses, and savings for years. On a monthly basis, I review spending categories and confirm no fraudulent changes. Once a quarter, I update my husband on our status and determine if we need to course-correct (i.e; rein in the spending or talk about a big bill), and at the end of each year I tally it all up to see how we did. Then together we set goals for the next year.
Adding Charity to the Budget
One line item that my husband and I are always excited about is our charitable giving budget (I’m also an Idealist archetype). Since we were first married, giving money away has been part of our money ethos, and I’ve kept track of the organizations we’ve donated to for the past 10 years. We don’t have hard and fast rules for our amount, but it’s averaged between 5-8% of our take home pay on an annual basis. We’ve done monthly giving in the past, but in recent years, we do the majority of our giving in lump sums in December.
We are so grateful and humbled by our privilege to give a portion of our money away, and we take it pretty seriously! My husband is a teacher so he chooses to steer part of our giving towards education and supporting former students in their various endeavors. I’m a lover of all things farm and agriculture. One year that meant buying a cow and chickens for a family to start their own farm! In my mind, we’ve always been generous, at least that’s what my spreadsheets told me.
Having a Baby Changed My Perspective on Generosity
Then a few years ago, we had our first baby. If you’re a parent then you know, having a baby is darn humbling. You truly need so much help and support, and that’s exactly what we got. We received GrubHub cash, Amazon gift cards, homemade meals, baked goods on our front porch, and bouquets of flowers. People I hadn’t spoken to in years sent onesies or hand-me-downs.
We felt very loved, and it made me wonder – how do I give back to the people I care about? What do I do when someone has a baby? Or moves to a new home? Or gets engaged? When was the last time I covered dinner for my friends or siblings? Thinking about it, I concluded, I always did the polite thing. If I got invited to a baby shower, I’d buy an item from the registry. If someone had a birthday party I’d bring a gift or split the dinner bill.
But in reality, very rarely did I go above and beyond that. I justified my actions by thinking, well, who really needs a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates? Coffee is only $5 – is it even generous to cover that amount?
Budgeting for ‘Generous Gestures’
This nagging feeling wouldn’t leave me alone and I was being called to look closer at how I could be a bit more thoughtful to those closest to me. What little gestures could have an outsized impact?
The first (and maybe most important) question was, what was holding me back? I looked at my budget and the answer was staring me right in the face. There was no line item for everyday gifts! So I got to work. Right next to Charitable Giving, I added “Generous Gestures”. I decided that this would be my monthly budget to surprise and delight the people I love. As soon as I added it, I felt elated. This felt aligned with how I really wanted to show up for family and friends.
Now I can be the person that shows up with baked goods and sends a surprise book in the mail. When someone I love has a baby I want to give a gift and send them a meal. This whole time I think I was held back thinking it was frivolous spending, but adding it to the official budget gave me the “permission” I needed to be generous.
It’s been such a fun couple of years as I’ve strengthened my generosity muscle. It’s fun to be that person, and I encourage you to think about adding a Generous Gestures line item to your monthly budget. Perhaps, it’ll give you the same fulfillment that it gave to me.
