Episode Summary

In this episode, we discuss money lessons for our daughters and explore the crucial role of financial awareness, the importance of self-reliance, and the evolving financial roles of women in society. We’ll share personal anecdotes, discuss historical contexts, and emphasize the importance of modeling positive financial behaviors for the next generation. We believe that money isn’t just a tool for daily transactions—it’s power. It’s the key to independence, freedom, and making informed choices. Whether it’s managing household finances, advocating for oneself, or navigating power dynamics in relationships, these lessons are vital for our daughters to learn early and understand deeply.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode

• The importance of understanding where your money goes and how to make it work for you
• Why self-reliance is so importance when it comes to your finances
• The reason we, as parents, need to model positive financial behaviors for our children
• The misnomer regarding women and math and why gender bias in academia needs to be eliminated
• How women advocating for other women can impact your finances
• What conversations need to happen when couples have income differences
• When planning for your future, have you thought about these things?
• The best way to respond when you make a mistake
• Why you must believe in your abilities and validate your own worth
• How to advocate for change to make sure you have a seat at the table

Resources Mentioned on the Show

• A Brief U.S. History of Women in Money and Finance by Josh Elledge
• Marriage & Money: Is a Prenup Right for You? with Terry Steen on If Money Were Easy
• The Rise of the Female Breadwinner: Key Planning Tips and Considerations by Alyssum Malone
• Cher Interview on Dateline with Jane Pauley. NBC. 1996.

Stay Connected

• Connect with Mary Beth on Twitter, Instagram, and on LinkedIn
• Connect with Neela on Twitter, Instagram, and on LinkedIn
• Join the Abacus community by connecting with us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and on LinkedIn

Transcript of the Episode

Mary Beth [00:00:14]:
Hey there. Welcome to the If Money Were Easy podcast, the show where we teach you how to expand what’s possible with your money. We are your hosts, Mary Beth Storjohann

Neela [00:00:24]:
and Neela Hummel,

Mary Beth [00:00:25]:
certified financial planners and co CEO’s of Abacus Wealth Partners. Today on the show, we are talking about money lessons for our daughters. Neela, welcome.

Neela [00:00:37]:
Welcome, Mary Beth.

Mary Beth [00:00:40]:
I feel like it hasn’t been the two of us in a while.

Neela [00:00:42]:
I know like that.

Mary Beth [00:00:43]:
I feel like, I do. Yeah. It seems like we haven’t been alone in this room, this virtual room for a bit. Okay, so we both have daughters. My daughter is nine.

Neela [00:00:54]:
My daughter is four.

Mary Beth [00:00:55]:
Okay.

Neela [00:00:56]:
Newly, four.

Mary Beth [00:00:57]:
Newly. Four.

Neela [00:00:58]:
Yep. Almost out of diapers overnight, kind of four.

Mary Beth [00:01:02]:
Amazing. Your daughter’s amazing. She’s great. Such personality.

Neela [00:01:07]:
She’s got a lot of personality. She was definitely, I like to call her my exclamation point in the confirmation that we weren’t going to have a fourth kid. She was like, you were thinking about it, but now you’re done.

Mary Beth [00:01:21]:
She’s like, I covered two.

Neela [00:01:23]:
Yep. I was like, you’re right, baby girl. You are twins all in one person.

Mary Beth [00:01:26]:
Got the energy for it.

Neela [00:01:29]:
Also, she’s me and I’m like, oh, my God, how did my mother do this?

Mary Beth [00:01:32]:
So much energy. She matches. She does match your energy.

Neela [00:01:35]:
She matches my energy.

Mary Beth [00:01:36]:
I walked into Neela’s house and met her for the first time. She marched me into her room and gave me a whole tour. Squishmellows. It was great.

Neela [00:01:44]:
And art to take home.

Mary Beth [00:01:45]:
Yes, I got the art. It was great. It was a great tour. I think it was one of my favorites. Okay, so if we’re talking to our daughters, you and I are obviously quite passionate about this. And so we have to, again, this is a PC conversation, so we’ll use no profanity here when I’m talking about how important it is to make it…

Neela [00:02:03]:
Gotta keep that clean rating on the Apple Podcast rating.

Mary Beth [00:02:05]:
Yeah, we do keep the clean rating. If you could do three to four money lessons for your daughter, let’s start with one. What’s the, what’s the first thing that you would talk to her about?

Neela [00:02:14]:
I feel like I’ll repeat myself just in every time I give any kind of a financial literacy education session, the phrase that I always come back to is money is power.

Mary Beth [00:02:27]:
Right.

Neela [00:02:28]:
Money is not gross. Money is a necessity of our world and money gives you choice.

Mary Beth [00:02:38]:
Yep. Absolutely.

Neela [00:02:40]:
What about you?

Mary Beth [00:02:42]:
I think it’s interesting. I guess the other thing we should preface this with is obviously money is important for everyone. Right. These money lessons, we’re talking about our daughters today, we also both happen to have sons. And so there will be a follow up for money lessons for our sons.

Neela [00:02:55]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:02:55]:
And I think in terms of context, I think the passion that comes from this, knowing that for so long and still women did not have a choice when it came to their finances. Women were beholden to men. We couldn’t have credit cards. We couldn’t own homes. There was so much that we could not do. And so I think the thing that comes up to me, I always feel it inside of me. Like, I feel like, a little bit of anger. I feel a little, like, angsty when I talk about why it’s so important for women to control their money. But I think it’s, you are capable and you can have financial independence is incredibly important that you have the skill to manage money.

Neela [00:03:31]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:03:31]:
Because like you said, the choices, the capability and the skill to do it, though I think so many women are intimidated by it. And I talked about this recently on a panel. You know, it’s not that much math for women. We, like, soften all of these things. And I’m like, no, money isn’t that complicated. Right. It can be simple, and it is a skill that you can have. I think it’s that you are capable of and you can have the skill to manage your own finances, period.

Neela [00:03:56]:
Yeah, absolutely. There’s two components. I think it’s the managing money, and it’s also the ability to make money.

Mary Beth [00:04:04]:
Right.

Neela [00:04:05]:
And all the feelings that can go along with that. And then there’s, of course, a whole nother layer of how money interacts with you from a relationship standpoint.

Mary Beth [00:04:15]:
Right.

Neela [00:04:15]:
Romantic relationships, family relationships, friend relationships. And so another thing that I would really want to make sure my baby girl takes away is that she always has the ability, whether she takes time out of paid work or not, to make an income and to take care of herself, because you just don’t know what might happen. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish her to have a relationship that lasts forever, but I think always knowing that you can support yourself for me was very important.

Mary Beth [00:04:51]:
Right. So everything is going to tie into what you said. You said it like the idea of choice, right? And the idea of choice. Choice equals freedom. So money equals freedom. Money equals choice. And it all comes back to. And that’s why your ability to earn an income is so important, so that you have that flexibility. What we see it all the time. We see women who end up in relationships and if you do end up making the choice to leave the workforce for a certain period of time for any reason, making sure you have a plan in place. Right. How can you earn an income? How can you support yourself? And it’s always nice, and we always want to trust. We just can’t control the outcomes in life that we can’t control everything. So everything that we will talk about today will just come back, I think, to that freedom and that ability to have a choice, freedom to maybe take that time off of work if you want to, to do the traveling, you want to take the job, that you want to have those life experiences, it’s all going to come back to that flexibility, like when you’re going to have that toxic job at some point in time, and you’ll be able to walk out of it because you have the emergency fund and the ability in place. And that’s the thing that I would want for Ellie is just, like, for her to have that ability to take care of herself and not to have to depend on others, too. It’s the idea of indebtedness to others.

Neela [00:05:58]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:05:59]:
And I think there’s pride in being able to do it yourself as well.

Neela [00:06:01]:
Yeah. I mean, what we’re talking about really is self-reliance. Self-reliance from an income standpoint, self-reliance from a knowledge standpoint.

Mary Beth [00:06:09]:
Right.

Neela [00:06:10]:
And I think sometimes people say, well, I’m not going to, like, look at all those financial graphs. I don’t want to spend my time doing that. And I’m like, great, neither do I. But do you need to know roughly what it takes to run your household? How much money you need, how much money things cost, where things are. That awareness component is so important. And you don’t need to be a rocket scientist. I mean, we interact with money every single day, and just having that base awareness of where does the money come from? Where does it go, what does it take to run the household? And, you know, we’ll talk about investing, but knowing the value of making your money work for you.

Mary Beth [00:06:51]:
Yeah. And it is a little cliche, but I say it. I would probably say something of the sorts of, like, there is no knight in shining armor. There is nobody that’s coming to rescue you.

Neela [00:07:00]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:07:00]:
We see all these memes, like the princess rescues herself. So in terms of that, like, taking care of yourself, not waiting for somebody else to come in, incredibly important. And you don’t have to look at all those graphs like you’re talking about. But I do think having that baseline knowledge of understanding what’s coming out, what’s coming in and what does my future look like? Showing up with curiosity. Right. You don’t learn all of that overnight. You were talking earlier about a client you’ve had for, what, 13 years? Like, we’ve been with clients and we see the progress over time. But I think starting with that curiosity and having a sense of responsibility, like you said, the self-reliance, the responsibility to take care of yourself and not necessarily depend on others.nAnd I think the unique thing is, I mean, for me anyways, having a daughter that’s growing up in a completely different financial situation than I grew up in, I knew there wasn’t necessarily a backstop. There wasn’t anybody to back me up. And so I kind of turned out this way as an overachiever in this direction, raising children that know, like, there will be, like, parents there to support or to fall back on. To what extent? Like, still having that wherewithal to go out there and put yourself out there. You don’t want anybody to, like, get anxiety and break themselves over it, but there still needs to be, like, some sense of independence and being launched into the world. And then when you’re in a relationship, continuing that forward to make sure you’re taken care of and using your voice at the table.

Neela [00:08:19]:
Right. I think we should also remark on the generational shift that’s happened in terms of the messages that maybe our moms got right. And that what we got, maybe even from the generation above us. I mean, we talked about women needing permission not too far, not that long ago.

Mary Beth [00:08:39]:
Not that long ago.

Neela [00:08:40]:
We needed to get cosigners on loans until the seventies, which was very much in our mom’s lifetime. And I also think about it as the daughter of someone who worked inside the home, not outside the home, but also having worked outside the home my entire career and the shift, I saw something different from my mom than my daughter is seeing from me right now. We moved in with my parents for a short little seven-month stint when we were doing our renovation. So just me, my husband, three giant children, and two giant dogs just kind of like, invading my parents’ house.

Mary Beth [00:09:19]:
Love it.

Neela [00:09:19]:
That’s a podcast of another time. But my brother, who lives with my parents, made a joke because he was watching my daughter at one point, and she was sitting there, she was tapping on a desk, and she was like, well, I’m all done with my work. Closed her imaginary laptop and said, I’ve got to go to the office now, and marched out. And she was three. And I was like, that’s so interesting, because they’re always watching us. They’re always listening and they’re picking pieces from our lives. And I was like, how, how fascinating because I didn’t, I didn’t see that to the same degree as I think my daughter is seeing it in me.

Mary Beth [00:09:58]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think the generational influence that we’ve had from our parents, the generational influence, that’s like being pulled forward. We speak of a time that still feels pretty recent, but again, the eighties still feel recent to us as well. So we have to be mindful of that. We’re talking about a time, the seventies in terms of, like, buying homes, the credit cards, all of those things.

Neela [00:10:16]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:10:17]:
And then how far removed our daughters will be from that, though, just way back when, back in the, back in the 19 hundreds.

Neela [00:10:24]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:10:26]:
It feels heavy to us imagining how heavy it feels to our mothers. Right. The women that come before us, will that feel as heavy and impactful to them? Right. That there was this time and maybe it will because they’re young, but there’s Roe v. Wade. Right. And women’s rights are still being managed and taken away. So it is interesting, like how it lands and how it impacts and the urgency or not behind it.

Neela [00:10:49]:
Yeah. You know, you mentioned something earlier about how we say, oh, there’s not that much math, which also, you know, there has been so much sexism, I think, when it comes to women and math and certain subjects. Right. That investing is a male topic and household budgeting is a female topic, which is like, again, keeping things very clean, total BS. And the reality is when they run studies about academic achievement in math, there is literally no difference in gender. None. And so I think as we’re talking to our kids, we’re talking to them by giving them support for all the things. And we’re not going to accidentally steer them into certain subjects. We’re not going to steer them just like, into English because, oh, that’s just like a more feminine topic.

Mary Beth [00:11:44]:
Yes.

Neela [00:11:44]:
And not like some of that nasty engineering work, which is so male. Right. It’s all. It’s BS.

Mary Beth [00:11:50]:
Right.

Neela [00:11:50]:
And so we got to kind of counter it from day one in that everybody can do anything.

Mary Beth [00:11:56]:
Yeah, exactly. Full stop. I think one of the things that comes up for me in terms of lessons is just the idea of using your voice. We probably see it. We have our own histories but seeing it across the variety of clients that we work with and whether one person navigates and manages the finance in terms of, like, this power dynamic, the power that can come, we always say money equals power. Right. How does it equal power? And so when there are relationships where one person is a breadwinner, does a person who naturally does not bring in as much, do they naturally fall back and relinquish or automatically give up some of their power, their voice diminishes because of this societal expectation or even maybe these internal feelings of self-worth that just happened when it comes to, like, this wealth divide or wealth shift. And also just even, you know, in terms of there’s the relationships there is advocating for yourself at work, it’s the conversations around money, when the bill comes to a table, when you’re at a restaurant with all of your friends. I think women tend to fall back when it comes to money. And this is like an overarching stereotype, but women getting comfortable using their voice, advocating for themselves of this is how much I can pay, this is what I can contribute, or this is what I believe I am worth. So often throughout my career, I’ve seen women fall back and wait to be told what they’re worth or wait to be told what they can do. They’re waiting to be told, like, how much they need to pay. But I think this idea of using your voice and practicing using your voice, it won’t be comfortable. But the more that you do it, the more that you’ll. You will get comfortable and the more that you will model for others and invite others in to be able to have those conversations as well.

Neela [00:13:31]:
Right. I love that you mentioned that with breadwinners at this point, I think it’s over 40% of women are the breadwinners in their household. 40%. And so we now have a growing generation of not only wage earners to one or two income households, but breadwinners. And so I think, as that also applies to getting in relationships when you are the breadwinner, that it might be appropriate for you to ask for a prenup.

Mary Beth [00:13:58]:
Yes.

Neela [00:13:59]:
Because if you’re coming in with either more assets or a greater income potential, that’s a way of self-advocating. And that might be hard to do because we’ve heard different messages around prenups. See our podcast episode on prenups, by the way, very illuminating. But I think shifting the narrative of its self-advocating, like you were saying, it’s investing in yourself, investing in yourself from a career standpoint, investing in yourself to, you deserve to know and understand and make big choices around your money.

Mary Beth [00:14:31]:
Yeah. Yeah. And I think it goes beyond the fair and unfair part. But as mothers, we can talk about these lessons, but the other part is we have to model these lessons. I can say you need to be able to advocate for yourself, but they need to be able to see women advocating for themselves. Right. That’s the role that we do play for the upcoming generation. The lens that I always have when I’m faced with something difficult is really like, what would I want Ellie to see me do that is like one of my biggest motivators at going through difficulties, whether it’s career or personal, et cetera. If I want to shy away, how would I want Ellie to respond? How would I want to model for her? What would I want to happen? And then acting in accordance with that. Right. In accordance with my values, like what the lesson is. So I think it’s really important that we can talk about these things. We say this all the time, like walking the talk is much harder.

Neela [00:15:16]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:15:16]:
So it’s the matter of me saying this lesson and also me modeling this lesson for using our voices.

Neela [00:15:21]:
Totally. And like what we said before, they’re always watching.

Mary Beth [00:15:24]:
They are? Absolutely.

Neela [00:15:25]:
You know, we focus so much on these, like, very specific phrases that we might want to deliver to them. But they’re picking up on all the stuff behind the scenes.

Mary Beth [00:15:34]:
Oh, yes.

Neela [00:15:35]:
They’re picking up on how you, if you’re partnered up, how you and your spouse talk about money, who they see. I was gonna say writing the checks, but let’s be honest. Who, we don’t really write that many checks.

Mary Beth [00:15:46]:
It’s now just tapping the phone. Is that what they were tapping the phone.

Neela [00:15:47]:
Watching you on your Venmo? But they’re always paying attention.

Mary Beth [00:15:54]:
They absolutely are. It was so funny last, it was over the weekend. Brian and I were having a loud conversation. Mostly I was venting loudly about whatever was on. It was kind of like blah. And then we’re laughing like a few minutes later because I’m like being ridiculous. We’re saying something, we’re cracking up. And then Ellie comes in from the other room and she’s like, this is what I don’t understand about adults. 1 minute you’re talking so loudly at each other, and the next you’re in here laughing. I don’t understand what’s happening here. I was like, sometimes we just need to talk loudly to get out of our frustrations. That’s just what happens. She’s such an observer. I swear she would have her little notebook out if she could. We’re constantly calling her out for stop watching us. But they do. They observe. They watch and they take away and then they implement into their lives, you know, sometimes the way I use my voice at home, I see Ellie turn around and then use that kind of same voice and pitch with Luca, her little brother. And I’m like, no, no, no. That’s not. You’re not the mother. Sorry.

Neela [00:16:51]:
Again. May you have a daughter just like you.

Mary Beth [00:16:56]:
That’s exactly what I got as well. She’s me. She’s 100% me.

Neela [00:17:00]:
There’s the phrase that I want to make sure that we lodge in this episode is a quote from Cher. And I know which one. You know this one? I know this one where her mom’s like, honey, I hope you marry a rich man.

Mary Beth [00:17:11]:
Yes.

Neela [00:17:11]:
And she says, mom, I am a rich man.

Mary Beth [00:17:14]:
My favorite.

Neela [00:17:15]:
That from a narrative standpoint, again, self-reliance, the knowledge, investing in yourself. You can always count on you, and you can be the breadwinner. You can be the earner. There is no limit.

Mary Beth [00:17:29]:
And I think it’s interesting, you know, talking to the 40% of breadwinners are women right now. Our daughters being able to see that as well, the normalization of that, even though it’s 40% right now, it still feels a bit taboo. There’s still being books written about. I mean, books have been being written about women being breadwinners for the past couple decades that I’ve seen, right. Since I’ve been in the industry. These books are still coming out for how women can be the breadwinner and navigate their house and the finance, like, all of these things, like their family life. And so I think the more it is normalized, the better for our daughters as well, to be able, again, to see themselves in that role and to feel comfortable in it.

Neela [00:18:07]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:18:08]:
As women, as breadwinners, aren’t necessarily fully comfortable in that dynamic and being able to talk with it in terms of societal expectations that are still placed on them and also on men. Right. So women are taking on the role. But there. I think there is still a lot that’s happening behind the scenes in those relationships at home or what women are carrying. And it’s not being talked about. It’s not being put into the limelight, because men aren’t necessarily, like we always talk about, in order for women to have more rights, men have to also encourage those rights.

Neela [00:18:38]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:18:39]:
Men aren’t necessarily getting comfortable with it. Women are getting more comfortable being the breadwinner, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that men are comfortable with them in that role.

Neela [00:18:47]:
It’s also interesting, you’ve watched these clips of celebrities and athletes who are being asked interview questions about having it all and how do they balance it. And who watches your kids while you’re out working? And them pushing back and saying, are you asking the guys this?

Mary Beth [00:19:07]:
Absolutely.

Neela [00:19:08]:
If we ask the guys the same kinds of questions that you and I get asked when we go to conferences, they’re like, oh, who’s watching? Who’s watching your kids?

Mary Beth [00:19:16]:
Absolutely.

Neela [00:19:17]:
My husband. He’s. He’s looking forward to being continued being a parent.

Mary Beth [00:19:20]:
Yes, that’s it. Exactly.

Neela [00:19:22]:
That’s it.

Mary Beth [00:19:23]:
The interesting thing about that, that I think whenever I see those clips, though, is that my algorithm is feeding it to me because I’m a woman, as are the men’s algorithms feeding them this. They’re not seeing it.

Neela [00:19:31]:
Such a good point.

Mary Beth [00:19:32]:
We are continuing to see what we are seeking out, which is more information and messages around this. But the men aren’t necessarily seeking out this. They’re not looking to be enlightened on it. No offense, men, we love you very much, like, on your side as well. But unless they seek it out, it does not go to their algorithm. I see what pops up on my husband’s algorithm. It is not about women’s rights. It’s not that. It’s not that. It’s not that. I love you, Brian. He also edits this podcast, but he also is enlightened because he listens to every episode. So. But, but it’s not, it’s not that. And I don’t think it’s that on the. Honestly, on the reels of many of the men in our lives, they’re being marketed a different. A different thing.

Neela [00:20:11]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:20:11]:
That’s how it’s always been.

Neela [00:20:13]:
Which is where the conversations and continuing to hold each other accountable comes into play. Right. And I think about all the conversations that my husband and I have had over the last twelve years of being together, who he is now, he’s always been a very open minded, empowered, just like, incredible advocate. And now hearing him, even from a professional standpoint, and him saying, like, for my company, I just interviewed six people, and five of them were white guys. He’s like, so now I’m going to our hiring group, and I’m like, where are the women? Where’s the diversity? And somebody in his role kind of pushing back on that. And I’m just, like, seeing it. I was like, yes, that’s it. Right. And it’s happening. And so, to your point, there’s a lot of great allies, and supporting them in supporting us is a really important piece, too.

Mary Beth [00:20:59]:
Yeah. The other thing that comes up is we’re probably doing money lessons for our sons in this one as well. But I think it’s so important if you are in male female relationship marriage. It’s so important for kids either way to see the husband cheerleading the wife. Like, it’s so important for the dads to cheerlead the moms, you know, in terms of, like, mommy’s got this great job or this is what mom’s role is, to be able to express that as well. Like, it can’t be on the mom only to say, like, this is what my role is, and cheerlead herself and explain to the kids maybe why there’s traveling, why there’s certain things. It should go both ways in cheerleading. But I think so often, it’s a forgotten thing that it is modeled from the dad, like a father figure to uplift the wife and mother figure as well, because I think that lands with the kids versus, like, you’re trying to self-advocate in those things.

Neela [00:21:47]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:21:47]:
So it should go both sides.

Neela [00:21:49]:
You know, I’m just, like, a total optimist, really, at everything.

Mary Beth [00:21:53]:
What?

Neela [00:21:54]:
Just about at everything.

Mary Beth [00:21:54]:
You are? I’m so surprised.

Neela [00:21:57]:
You think you know a person.

Mary Beth [00:21:58]:
I know, I know,

Neela [00:22:00]:
But I will, as an anchored optimist, I am so optimistic about our next generation, because this generation, their default world, is so much more evolved than the one that we grew up in.

Mary Beth [00:22:13]:
100%. Yes.

Neela [00:22:14]:
The fact that, like, my seven year old is, like, fully aware that families come in all shapes and sizes.

Mary Beth [00:22:20]:
Yes.

Neela [00:22:21]:
That there’s single parents, there are two mommies, there are two daddies. There’s grandma, who’s raising the child, and, like, they don’t even miss a beat. We had close to a family that has two moms, and, like, it’s. It’s not even a thing. That’s just what the world is. That wasn’t the case when we were kids. And so for that, all, a lot of the stereotypes that you and I probably grew up with, I think, have already been inverted.

Mary Beth [00:22:45]:
Yeah.

Neela [00:22:45]:
In a lot of places. You know, maybe. Granted, we’re sitting here in, like, southern California.

Mary Beth [00:22:49]:
We’re also very privileged.

Neela [00:22:50]:
I was like, yes.

Mary Beth [00:22:51]:
Can we. Can we also comment? I did want to comment on that. So I just want to be mindful that we are in a bubble, right. Southern California bubble. So in our, in this bubble, It is very evolved.

Neela [00:23:02]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:23:04]:
Everything else out there.

Neela [00:23:05]:
and at, like, you know, my kids’ school, it is a total mix of who’s dropping them off and who’s dressed for work and who’s not dressed for work. And so for that piece, some of the stereotypes that I feel like we’ve fought against aren’t as ripe as as they once were, right? And I don’t think we should ever put our guard down. But knowing that the world is shifting and I think the next generation is bright.

Mary Beth [00:23:29]:
The next generation is bright. I am probably more middle of the road. I do not feel as optimist about how the world has changed and evolved, but I do think the next generation is in a better space. There are some of us who are more enlightened. It’s not necessarily across the country where everybody is more enlightened. We see what’s happening on the news, and so it might not be entrenched in everybody’s community, but there are proportions and there are people who are doing the work right. And I think those parents who are doing the work have the ability and the time right. So that’s also a privilege. Those of us of a certain, like, wealth class or a certain, in terms of time, flexibility and freedom, we are able to spend time doing that work and being intentional about what our children are exposed to.

Neela [00:24:05]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:24:06]:
There are those that are struggling still, and they might not be able to, like, be as intentional. So I think it depends. I do think the future is brighter for the next generation in general, based on, yes, there’s an involvement and also there’s technological advances there, more connections, so there’s exposure to more learning. We talk all the time about chat, GPT what is at the fingertips of this next generation? The fact that they don’t have to break their backs with a backpack full of ten textbooks through junior high and high school, and they just have to bring a laptop or like an iPad. Now that’s crazy. That in general they’re already have better posture and health than us, so.

Neela [00:24:36]:
That’s true. A whole generation of reduced scoliosis cases.

Mary Beth [00:24:40]:
Exactly. See, there we go. That’s my optimism for you.

Neela [00:24:45]:
Will take it.

Mary Beth [00:24:46]:
That’s my side of optimism. What else? What else would you share?

Neela [00:24:52]:
I think one other piece is that we’re better together and this idea of empowered women empower other women and that we’ve talked a little bit about the loud budgeting trend in talking more openly about like, no, this is not in accordance with my financial priorities. I want to focus my energy over here. And this idea of the more you learn, the more you’re able to kind of share with each other. And so I think about the next generation talking to each other about their 401Ks the way, like I do with my friends, you know.

Mary Beth [00:25:25]:
I get excited about that.

Neela [00:25:26]:
I get so excited of this idea, you know, them being if they want to be focused from a career standpoint and what they’re learning and how do you do this and this knowledge share? Just continuing to break down the taboos around what is okay to talk about, what is not okay to talk about. And also celebrating the promotions, celebrating the new jobs and not just celebrating babies and marriages.

Mary Beth [00:25:49]:
Yeah.

Neela [00:25:50]:
Celebrating going after it and getting it.

Mary Beth [00:25:53]:
Yes, totally. Yeah. The thing that comes up also is this idea of the table a lot. You belong at the table. And if there’s not a share for you at that table, build your own table.

Neela [00:26:02]:
Yep.

Mary Beth [00:26:02]:
So in terms of a financial table, if you are looking for a seat at one and there’s not a seat for you, that is a sign, that is a red flag. That is a time for you to either go find another table to sit at or go build your own table. You can fight for the seat at the table, but like, no, you belong at it. You can fight for change at that table or you can build your own and create impact that way as well. I think either way you belong to the table, though. Like, don’t walk away and give up your power.

Neela [00:26:28]:
Right.

Mary Beth [00:26:28]:
That’s one of the things I see, you know, whether it’s the boardroom, whether it’s like your own finances, whether it’s for the job, whatever it is.

Neela [00:26:34]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:26:35]:
There aren’t enough women at the table in general making some of these decisions.

Neela [00:26:39]:
Right. Yeah. We’ve talked before also about queen bee syndrome.

Mary Beth [00:26:43]:
Yeah.

Neela [00:26:43]:
There’s only one spot for a woman. And so then that almost pits women against other women because they’re like, well, at this ten person table, there’s only one slot for a woman. You’re like, okay, so we’re either going to make change at this table or we’re going to build a much bigger and better table because that table is ripe for extinction. Let’s just. Let’s just be honest.

Mary Beth [00:27:03]:
Absolutely. And I think the other thing would be mistakes will happen. One of the questions we ask on this podcast is, what’s your favorite money mistake? You’re going to make mistakes that are not your favorite. You might make mistakes that you’re paying off for months or years, but mistakes happen. And the best thing that we can do with those is turn those into lessons. We can give all of these lessons so we can share. You and I could talk until we’re blue in the face at our daughters or the next generation in general. But at the end of the day, the most impactful lessons are those that you get from life experience.

Neela [00:27:35]:
Yeah, I think that’s a really good one to end on, too, because it’s this permission to be a beginner and a permission to try and a permission to fail. And for those of you who are A students and really don’t like the idea of getting a different grade, failing is part of the journey. It makes you better. It makes you learn. And there are very few failures that are totally irreversible.

Mary Beth [00:28:03]:
Absolutely. And I think the biggest thing you can learn is to take the lessons seriously, but not to let them define you you’re going to take away. But just because you have failed does not mean you are a failure.

Neela [00:28:16]:
Yeah.

Mary Beth [00:28:18]:
And those lessons will become a part of you, which will make your life and lived experience that much stronger and that much more beneficial. All right, I think that’s what we got.

Neela [00:28:27]:
I can’t wait for them to listen to this podcast.

Mary Beth [00:28:32]:
I know, right? I’m always like, Ellie, do you know your mommy wrote a book? You have no interest in what’s in here right now, but your name’s in there. It’s dedication, but you will. They do know we have a podcast. And they’re like, are you on the radio? I’m like, no, it’s podcast.

Neela [00:28:49]:
It’s like that.

Mary Beth [00:28:50]:
I think I’m cool. You probably don’t think I’m cool, but I think I’m cool. So that’s what matters most, is that I like myself. You should like yourself, too.

Neela [00:28:59]:
Oh, I love it.

Mary Beth [00:29:00]:
All right, thanks, y’all.

Neela [00:29:01]:
Thanks for joining.

Mary Beth [00:29:02]:
Bye.

Neela [00:29:04]:
Thank you for listening to today’s episode of If Money Were Easy. If you’re looking for more information on how you can expand what’s possible with your money, head to Abacus wealth.com. that’s abacuswealth.com for more analysis and resources created by our team.

Neela [00:29:47]:
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